I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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