this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
