3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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