He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
