I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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