i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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