Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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