would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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