nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
