he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize