they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This toilet bowl is my home.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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