I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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