Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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