I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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