I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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