She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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