She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
