Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
