May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
