i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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