wrigley field is MILF paradise
Nicole vs. Life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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