We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
