I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
