Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
