cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize