I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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