Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
wow bdsm is so cute
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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