I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
