The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize