I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
