What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
