oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
