I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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