So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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