I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
