So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
