I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
