Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
