Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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