tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
