I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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