We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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