Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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