you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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