i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We don't watch enough power rangers
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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