After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
