Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Damn victory sex feels great
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
