I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
