it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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