Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
