I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
