Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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