I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize