69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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