Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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