Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
