i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize