Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
