Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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