"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
