dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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