well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
