Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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