My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
