so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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